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In one of my previous businesses, a long-time team member told me she was leaving to pursue her photography career full-time.
It was something she'd been building towards for a while.
When she finally made the decision, she wrote me a letter. A real one, not an email.
In it, she told me how grateful she was for the space I'd given her to grow, the way I'd encouraged her to chase her dreams, and how hard it was to say goodbye - not because of the job itself, but because of the way we worked together.
It may have been a lil bit of an ego boost (not gonna lie) but behind it, I could see that my leadership style had helped her grow in her career tenfolds.
I've been working for myself for 11 years now. One year into my business journey, I hired my first team member.
Since then, I've learned that what truly shapes you as a leader is how you show up when things shift.
That letter reminded me of one of the hardest - but most powerful - truths of leadership:
Your business is yours, not your team's.
And great leadership isn't about holding on tightly. It's about creating the kind of space where people feel safe to grow - even if that means growing beyond you.
And if you're reading this thinking "I don't have a team," or "I just work with freelancers occasionally," or "I'm focused on community, not hiring" - emotional intelligence still matters.
And before you roll your beautiful eyes at me, it’s more than inspirational words with a Sefir font.
It can (and should be) tied in repeatable tangible habits you set for yourself and your team alike.
Added side effect is that it helps you hold space better. Collaborate better. Connect better.
Whether you're managing a team, leading a group program, or building a membership - how you show up emotionally can make or break the experience for everyone involved.
I also collated a few of resources for neurodivergent individuals, including ways to approach emotional intelligence in your work!
Leading Yourself
Let’s start with the one person you always lead: yourself.
Emotional intelligence begins with self-awareness: the ability to notice and name your own emotions in real time.
Awareness can take you THAT far. The real trick is recognising that your feelings carry information. And decoding what that means.
Frustration can signal unclear boundaries.
Anxiety might stem from a lack of direction.
Disconnection often points to burnout.
When you develop this awareness, you also unlock the second core skill: self-regulation.
Self-regulation stems from choosing intentional responses instead of automatic reactions.
Yes, I know, easier said than done. Trust me, I know, I have a 5-month old baby.
This matters whether you’re:
Navigating conflict with a contractor
Delivering hard feedback to a community member
Deciding whether to launch yet another thing
OR dealing with aforementioned 5-month old
YOUR HOMEWORK ✍️
Identify your emotional “tells.” What are the physical cues or patterns that show up when you’re overwhelmed, drained, or overstimulated? Pay attention to your signals before they turn into spirals.
Leading Others
Whether you have a full team, part-time collaborators, or just occasional freelancers, how you show up emotionally sets the tone.
Flexing your empathy muscle allows you to:
Read the emotional temperature of your team or community
Adapt your communication style without diluting your message
Give feedback that builds trust rather than defensiveness
A check-in like “What do you need from me right now?” can be more powerful than a perfectly worded Notion task or a 50-slide onboarding deck.
If you work solo emotional intelligence still matters.
Whether you’re building a community, a client roster, or even a loyal audience, those same skills apply. You’re still leading, just in different forms.
YOUR HOMEWORK ✍️
Become a better listener. Next time you are in a meeting or call, try mirroring back what someone says before you respond.
For example: “It sounds like you’re feeling stuck because of [X], is that right?” This creates space, clarity, and connection before diving into solutions.
Leading the Business
Whether you’re a team of one or managing multiple people, emotional intelligence plays a big role in your ability to make clear, values-driven decisions.
Even your biggest strategy moves (pricing, pivoting, pausing a project) are emotional decisions first.
Emotional intelligence becomes a super power, helping you with
Sitting with discomfort instead of rushing to react
Spotting their own blind spots before projecting them outward
Choosing alignment instead of urgency when pressure is high
And when the stakes are high (tight deadlines, launch pressure, financial stress), emotional intelligence helps you pause before making decisions rooted in fear or reactivity.
YOUR HOMEWORK ✍️
When faced with a big business decision, I love to bring in these two questions:
“What’s the story I’m telling myself right now?”
“What would change if I paused for 24 hours and got a second perspective?”
This small shift can save you from burning bridges, rushing pivots, or launching something you’ll regret later.
Emotional intelligence is not a skill you’re born with, but one you can build.
As well as talking from my lived experience, I also wanted to mention resources that respect diverse neurotypes like autism and ADHD.
RocheMartin offers a comprehensive overview on adapting emotional intelligence strategies for neurodivergent individuals, focusing on the fact that there is no universal approach and interventions should be tailored
Neurodivergent Insights provides a complete guide to understanding emotions, specifically addressing key questions about the origins and management of emotions for neurodivergent people.
Feelings wheels and charts are widely endorsed as effective visual aids, supporting neurodivergent people in identifying and expressing their emotions with greater clarity. The “Feelings Wheel” by Gloria Wilcox is a particularly popular tool for building self-awareness and emotional mastery.
If you’re craving more support (and honest conversations about what modern leadership actually looks like), we’ve got just the thing:
All Access Pass: Get full access to our on-demand curriculum and community tools — perfect for solo marketers and small teams ready to deepen their strategy and systems.
Class in Session – Our Autumn Event Series: This Q4 series is packed with live sessions to help you build momentum, get feedback, and connect with others as you prepare for the end-of-year sprint.
Becoming a better human is truly an understated practice, yet one that yields more benefit than I can count.
Always cheering you on,
Fab ✌️
GRAB A COPY OF MY NEW BOOK 📖
Fifteen years of marketing experience condensed into one book. The Customer-Driven Marketing Handbook is about building relationships using marketing as your superpower. But also a book about being human in your marketing, regardless of the tools, trends or changes that this crazy world throws at us.